34 lessons

James Gill -

I’m turning thirty four years old. I had been meaning to write a post on my birthday for at least four years, so it’s long overdue that I get my typing fingers out and commit myself to writing this.

Let me be abundantly clear: these are not lessons I have fully learnt. But they are lessons that I hope will prove as useful to you as they have to me.

What started as a ”30 lessons at 30” post has turned into “34 lessons at 34”.

Which is a wonderful tee up for lesson one…

1. Start today

The best time to plant a tree was thirty (four) years ago. The second best time to plant a tree is now.* Get started and stop thinking you're too late.

2. Get a coach

Find someone who can support you, listen to you, never judge you, and help you be the best version of yourself. I have worked with a coach on and off for the last four years. In that time I have become clearer than ever about what I want from life, I have co-founded a new endeavour, proposed to my partner, become fitter and healthier than ever before, and I feel more comfortable than ever in my own skin. For me, coaching has given me the space I didn't realise I needed to explore and articulate my thoughts. You can solve so many of your challenges if you give yourself the space and ask the right questions.

3. Wake up earlier

Wake up early — you can be a morning person if you fix your evenings. I believe I am naturally a night owl, but I love an early morning when I can do it. Earlier dinner, earlier bed-time, reducing screen time, and a consistent routine seem to be the path to earlier mornings for me.

4. You can run a marathon

You can run a marathon, but you need to put some trainers on first. Master putting your kit on and the rest will get easier. I still don't really think of myself as "a runner", but I find immense satisfaction from running.

5. Write a diary

It’s therapeutic and develops like a second brain. I can look back on any day in the last year and recall the tiniest details I noted down. Magic. Much like coaching, it enables me to clarify my thoughts and spot patterns in how I approach situations.

6. Take a break

Take a break – don’t quit. One day may be all you need to check in with yourself and get yourself back on track.

7. Overnight success is easy

Overnight success is easy once you’ve spent years (or decades) practicing, building, failing, and learning.

8. Build habits

Build habits a day at a time. This applies to both good and bad habits. Acknowledge what triggers both, and try to avoid living on autopilot with all of them. Small changes can compound when done daily for years.

9. Hit publish

Hit publish. The first draft of anything is rubbish. You usually learn what works by hitting publish and learning from reality. Make hitting publish a habit, rather than a rarity.

10. Live in the moment

Learn to live in the moment — it doesn’t always need to be shared on an Instagram Story.

11. Be curious

Be curious — nothing is boring when you show an interest in it. Don't assume — ask why.

12. Be weird

Be weird. Everyone is weird when you get to know them well enough. Be weirder.

13. Save

Save the file. Save your change. Save some of your salary for a rainy day.

14. Spend

You get what you pay for. Nothing is as expensive as your time, and you can’t pay anyone to get that back. For more expensive products and services, ask: are they excessively expense, or is the more affordable option excessively cheap? Who is paying the price for the cheap thing?

15. Vote with your wallet

Be the change you want to see in the world. If you like the local shop, spend your money there — even if it’s less convenient or more expensive. If you don’t, who will?

16. Treat yourself

Treat yourself but not too much. Don’t let your treats become expectations.

17. Surround yourself with the right people

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time around. This is absolutely categorically true. Surround yourself with people who pull you up, who push you to be the best you can possibly be, who test your limits and your potential.

18. Give compliments

Be generous with compliments. You never know how much someone else might need them.

19. Look after yourself

Take time for you. Look after yourself. It’s hard to look after others if you don’t look after yourself.

20. Smile

When you’re being filmed, smile — it conveys more confidence than anything you say. In fact, not just when being filmed. Smile more!

21. Spend time with mum and dad

Spend more time with your parents — they know a lot more than you about the world. No one will ever love you like your parents love you.

22. Ask for help

Ask for help. More often than not, people want to give you help. It’s often a privilege to help someone else. The worst that can happen is someone says no. Just ask.

23. Embarrassment is the least of your worries

Don’t worry about embarrassment. Most people don’t have time to care. Most people will forget. The biggest challenges are usually in making people care and getting them to pay attention.

24. Find a mentor

Always have a mentor, and aim to be a mentor to someone else.

25. You’re more than qualified to start

Everything that’s been made in the world has been made by people no smarter than you. The biggest difference is they went out and did it. Get out there and start.

26. Ask better questions

A simple question can turn a complex mess into a well ordered, solvable problem. Learn some questions and frameworks to help you process complex mess into simplicity. Some of the questions I ask myself frequently: "What is the worst possible outcome if I choose option X or Y?" and "What would James the CEO do in this situation?" These questions are a result of point 2.

27. Worry less

Spend less time worrying about what others think of you. Never let this hold you back from your own accomplishments.

28. Read more fiction

Read more fiction. Let your mind wander. Get lost.

29. Watch less TV

No matter how much TV you watch, watch less. Unless it's Succession, or Severance. Nobody's perfect.

30. Be reliable

Do what you say you’re going to do. Build a reputation for being reliable.

31. Decide what you want

What do you want? The clearer you can be with yourself, the easier everything gets. The world will tell you what to want if you don’t take charge of this yourself.

32. Buy less

Joy rarely comes from owning more things. The world needs us to buy less. Find joy in giving new life to existing things. Own less stuff.

33. There is no singular right way to build a business or a life

Despite what the world seemingly wants you to think — everyone is just making it up as they go along. Things are never as they seem when you peel back the curtain. Stop worrying if you're doing it right, and just focus on putting one foot in front of the other.

34. Remember to breathe

Some call it meditation. Focus on your breathing. Breathe deeply and slowly. Many difficult, anxiety-inducing situations can be overcome by focusing on your breath. Finding inner calm is hard, but it's a little easier when you put your phone down, stop doing anything else, and just breathe.

Other things

Some other assorted links that caught my eye in the last few weeks.

A quote

One year to go…

“Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.” – Caryn Leschen (an American illustrator, copywriter, and cartoonist)

*  If you do want to plant an actual tree, it's very easy to do so.